THE POWER OF THE COMPLIMENT
By Denise Anne Taylor

There are many things that we should know in order to make the impression we would like to make on all types of people. For example: We should know what to wear for a specific occasion, when and if to light a cigarette, how to accept or decline an invitation, and how to act in a business meeting. The list goes on and on. How we handle each of these situations and other situations will depend on the perception that others will have of us. A compliment is a powerful way to make a great impression with those around you.

It requires very little effort to provide a compliment, and the rewards are endless. Do not be afraid to give compliments. We all have things in our lives that cause us to feel unsure, to feel as though we have failed.  A compliment will provide that lift, if only momentary, and those who receive the compliment will secretly bless you for it. Sometimes a well-timed compliment will be just the thing needed to change a person's life for the better.

Remember you must choose your words and how you say them. There is a difference between a compliment and flattery. Most individuals dislike flattery. Compliments are sincere. Flattery is not. Sincerity is the difference between the two. A compliment is a courteous expression of commendation or approval, whether sincere or merely formal. Flattery is never sincere. It plays on self-love or vanity by artful praise.

Think about the following law of the universe:

That which you praise is multiplied.

If you praise a person's generosity, he will become more generous; if you praise a person's beauty, she will become more beautiful; if you praise a person's talent, he will become more talented. You can also use direct praise, in private, on yourself just as effectively. Praise your good points, they will increase; praise your abilities and you will become more able. Praise is a multiplier. Just imagine the power you possess to multiply the goodness of the world around you!

If you feel you cannot actually compliment a person, do not do so. It is better to be silent than give an insincere word of praise. A smile or an expression of interest will sometimes serve just as well. Begin to enjoy life now, and you will cause others to enjoy it with you! If you choose to see chaos in the world and defects in yourself and others, you will surely see them. If you choose to see order and perfection, charm and beauty, then they will make themselves clearly visible to you. There are few who can resist the magnetism of being liked.

If you have etiquette questions or comments about this column, write to Denise Anne Taylor at P.O. Box 748, Bloomfield Hills, Michigan 48303-0748 or via e-mail at dataylor@passportforsuccess.com.

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