BUILDING SELF-ESTEEM AND HAPPINESS (PART 1 of 2)
"Enhanced quality of life through emotional well-being"
By Denise Anne Taylor

According to Ken Dychtwald, Ph.D and author of AgePower-How the 21st Century will be Ruled by the New Old, "On January 1, 1996, the first baby boomer turned 50. By the second decade of the 21st century, boomers will evolve into the largest elderly generation in history. Once their older members start turning 65 in 2011, the numbers will skyrocket, from approximately 40 million to 70+ million by 2030."

What does this mean for assisted living facilities catering to this potential tidal wave of mature consumers? It will no longer be enough for these facilities to just warehouse individuals that are so-called, "marking time". A greater understanding of the emotional foundation and human relation aspects of the resident will be necessary to go above and beyond meeting bare essentials like food and shelter.

The emotional break-down of an individual that transitions from an independent lifestyle to one of dependence can experience many symptoms; fatigued, anxiety, irritable, scared, lonely, frustrated, a decline in mental efficiency, suicidal thoughts, basically complete self-defeat. Assisted living environments have to promote enhanced well-being, happiness, and self-worth to guide their residents to a better place mentally or what may be termed mental fitness - the ability to manage the mind for a positive life change.

As Mr. J. Robert Gillette, President of American House Senior Living Residences, mentions, "Many of our seniors, especially those in small apartments, who have few options and not much outside contact with family members and friends, are simply waiting until life expires." Mr. Gillette expressed concern over the quality of life for those who cannot help themselves and is trying to discover a new approach to make this next phase of life meaningful by providing programs that enhance an individual's well being.

The "invisible" culture that has been generated as a result of neglect by family, and a disposable approach to the mature adult's emotional needs, demands a new way of integrating those individuals as empowered, productive, and confident contributors to their new way of living.

Ruth Legrove, 81, a resident of the Farmington Hills American House, suggested an open door policy. "The closed door is a hindrance. I keep the door open to welcome someone as lonely as I am," said Ms. Legrove. Human connectedness is one key element in the development of a more positive approach. As Edward M. Hallowell, M.D. states in his book, Connect, "A human moment occurs anytime two or more people are together, paying attention to one another. " This connectedness is proven to provide increased physical health and longevity. Whether an individual is an active mature adult or complicated by physical or mental limitations, the interaction established with others is a powerful aspect of developing improved self-worth and happiness.

Other individuals have also found positive ways to make their new lifestyle more like home. Mr. Joe Joseph, 81, a resident of the West Bloomfield American House location has expertise in landscape gardening. Mr. Joseph expressed interest in contributing his skills to beautify the entire front entrance to the West Bloomfield site. He cites, "confidence, faith, and willpower", as the motivating factors in getting involved in this community. American House Regional Manager, Crystal Waack encouraged Mr. Joseph to apply his skill by supplying the necessary flowers and tools for him to take on this project. Ms. Waack has seen first hand how this simple step of allowing a resident to contribute can make all the difference in their happiness within the assisted living community.

Another resident at the West Bloomfield location, Alice Kushner, 83, shares her skill at the piano by entertaining her neighbors with songs like, "Won't You Come Home Bill Bailey" and "Danny Boy", and 87 other favorites which she plays by ear. Residents can be seen dancing and moving throughout the lobby and the power of the music puts a smile on the faces of all who attend. Ms. Kushner who is new to assisted living and who was diagnosed with cancer in December 2000 doesn't let her recent surgery (January 2001) and chemotherapy treatments stand in her way. "It's my entire life." She says of the music, "Attitude has a lot to do with it." Prior to her diagnosis, she was an active mature adult attending water aerobics three times a week for nine years. Ms. Kushner's life has taken a new turn, but her zest for living has not been hindered by her new environment once she was able to have something to look forward to.

It is examples such as the above that highlight the value of a positive mental mindset. It will depend on assisted living staff, residents and their families, to promote feelings of importance, self-worth, and happiness. This awareness will provide the ability for any individual to grow and develop in a healthy manner while taking on these new life changes.

Regardless of activity level, age, mental or physical limitation, people are people, and a strong emotional foundation is the key to a successful life change experienced by many everyday. In part two of "Passport For Living, a call-to-action outline will be presented to discuss how assisted living facilities can incorporate a more positive transition for their clients.

Part 2 of 2 >>

If you have etiquette questions or comments about this column, write to Denise Anne Taylor at P.O. Box 748, Bloomfield Hills, Michigan 48303-0748 or via e-mail at dataylor@passportforsuccess.com.

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